A dreaded day for those who are single by choice or by cruel twist of fate. Yes, I am single, not by choice, but by cruel twist of fate, and I am that type who does not believe in celebrating V-Day, the idea of showering your loved ones along with millions of those who do the same thing on one particular day is not what I termed as romantic. Why settle for over-priced set dinner menu at eateries that are choked with over-created romantic ambience? Not to mention those over attentive servers who can’t wait to clear your table for those in queue once you put your cutleries down. And those so called “complimentary” roses or gifts, well they aren’t that complimentary after all… just imagine…all the couples in the same restaurant, eats the same thing, mushy & lovey dovey to each other, in a way trying to out-do the next table.
All who celebrates are in a pressured situation on what is the best gift for that special someone, how to make that V-Day better than the last, a process that takes up all your brain’s juice and in the end it’s more than a chore or obligation rather than a gesture of love.
Yea, you can call me a cynic & kiamsap…I have never celebrated V-Day, even though back when the days I was attached, a simple home cooked meal, a stroll after dinner, holding hands/cuddling while marvel at the stars and the moon every now & then is way much better than doing it only one day in a year..
While some revels & bask in the glory of love & being loved, some are left to ponder alone on the meaning of love. Below is written by me on 4th June 2007, 19 months later and despite heartaches, lonely tears, a wound that can never heals, and even that someone chooses someone else instead of me, I have not given up on love & to be loved…..
Someone once told me "Love that we cannot have feels the strongest, last the longest and hurt the deepest”. Can someone tell me what love is all about? Is it the unexplainable feeling that you have for someone? Is it the mere thoughts of that someone can either make or break you? Or is it the feeling of hope & despair, hate & love, joy & pain that comes all together when the mere thoughts or by the slightest action from that someone? You can be on the highest and yet the lowest point of your life at the same time. You can sing and revel in joy and yet sigh and cry in sorrow and pain at the same time. You can feel that you are indestructible and yet vulnerable at the same time. You can be full of hopes and yet feels that life is not worth living at the same time. Is this love?
We were all brought up to see the world in opposite’s perspective. There are always two extreme perspectives in the world that we live in. Ever wondered why it is Good & Evil, Black & White, Sweet & Bitter, Right & Wrong, and Yes & No? Who in the first place determines what is the opposite of each other? Who is the one that determines what you want and choose is acceptable or unacceptable, wrong or right? There's a common saying that we live our lives for ourselves and not for others, but if we were to think again, all our actions, decisions, we live for others. We were brought up to make and choose decisions that are a way acceptable by the world.
I made a choice, I do not know whether it is acceptable or will my choice leads me to happiness or sorrow. I really have no idea, the path that I've chose is the hardest path I've ever taken in my life. Everyone keeps saying that life is tough, but at times I do ask myself, if the existing life path is tough enough, why do i still choose an even tougher path? A lonely path that I have to travel with constant sorrow and despair, only guided by my faith hoping that one day it will lead me to happiness.
Why I chose this? Because that someone showed me what is called being in love.Everyone has different perspective on love, for my definition on love, some will call me an idiot, some will shake their heads in disbelief and some will support me in a way. Some will say I forsake too much, way too much for that someone, some will say it is not worth my time and commitments, some will persuade me to let go of holding on to what that does not belong to me, yes, being a mortal, at times I will be swayed by these comments.
I just know and believe that to be able to grow old with that someone special, it is worth all the sacrifices, pain and sorrow awaiting me, for I've found the purpose of my life in that someone.
