How I wish I can muster all my courage to call you to chat, laugh & share like what we initially used to do.. Times flew, it's been 21 months now.. How are you? I sincerely hope that you are happy and well. Hope & pray that all is smooth for you, be it work or personal. Just in case you are wondering, I am doing ok, though work have been extremely busy lately, coupled with tremendous pressure, it's been really tough times for me. I also do wonder whether do I still crosses your mind? Does the thoughts or random things about me send shivers down your spine or does it bring a smile to your lips? Or you have forgotten that I existed?
Do you still remember our "Mama Karipap" song-dance routine that never made us stop rolling with laughter? Or my "confessions" whenever you wakes me up? Friends around me have been telling me that 21 months is way too long to hold on to, but these are some our memories together that I fiercely holds closely to my heart, for these are what's left with me now. Whenever I reminisces, it brings both smile & tears to me. Though our moments together are short & brief, it is one of the happiest time in my life, Chinese people always quote 'Pat joi foo tin cheung tei kau, Jee joi foo chang king yung yau'. Does all good things are not meant to last in my life?
Remember this faces you insist of drawing on my hands?
There are countless times that I used to wander aimlessly on the streets, not knowing where to go or rather no one to go home to, and I will end up going back to the places where we used to go. Do not get me wrong, I am happy with my life now, I have a group of close friends that are the most fun people on earth to hang out with, work though tough, but it gives me the satisfaction, but deep down I felt void.There are also times when I desperately want you by my side to share my achievements & joy or to be hugged and reassured that everything will be ok when everything went spiralling down. I misses you Dear Dear.
Despite all the wounds, till now, my feelings for you still remains, do you know that? Somehow, without you by my side, I knew that I will not be able to smile as brightly or laugh as hard as I once did. You showed me, though briefly, what is to be loved...You taught me to anticipate and work on the future that I want, but guess, my best is never good enough for you to have me in your future..
It is not true that I did not move on, I did... just minus a part of me that died the day you left..
Missing you,
Kayc
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