明天会是更好的，美好人生在此刻開始

明天会是更好的，美好人生在此刻開始....this is the motivational phrase I have wrote..(ok,ok, I copied, but at least I am the one who kau tim the translation from English before copying)..on my Facebook profile this morning, 5 minutes after I woke up from a long, deep, uninterrupted sleep.

Last evening, I sat down and asked myself what I wanted in my life, what directions I am heading towards? Is the road ahead clear with directions? Is the path filled with wild roses on both sides or is it going to be a wild barren landscape with no ending, with constant sandstorms blurring my vision?

When I list it down, only I realised how pampered and soft I have became...in fact I have turned into someone who dare not venture into the unknown and too complacent & so damn used to my comfort zone. I start asking myself, "Where the hell, is the fearless, do first, answer later Kayc?"

Before I managed to get an answer.....

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I dozed off....now while blogging bout' this, I knew the answer.........

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I'm getting old....the older we get, the less adventurous & less fearless we became....and more one can easily dozed off...

I must start LIVING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!


P/S: Now I know why those Ah Pek can just doze off like that in coffee shop, kaki lima, shopping mall benches...sigh....

I'm giving up.........

I never doubted my capabilities till today, never felt second best, never thought there are any work related problems that I do not have the solutions to..but why am I feeling so helpless now?

Why am I shedding tears of frustrations? Why my heart hurts so much? Why after all my efforts I still have to deal with all those comments? Is it just because I do not have academic qualifications, that I am not supposed to be where I am now? Or is it me who have been all this while, so fuckingly naive & innocent to believe that "When there's a will there's way?"

Why is my best is never good enough for anyone?

A simple prayer..

GOD, please hold my hand and guide me , please grant me strength to carry on, please share your wisdom & patience for me to see clearer pictures..

Evoking Memories

Humans are blessed with 5 sensory organs - sight, sound, feel, taste and scent. Each one of them is unique should we were denied any one of them, our lives will be so different..

Some of us depends on our memories to propel us forward, some would choose to stay in our memories for the sake of reliving bygone glorious, happy days, while some would choose to forget..We can deny as much as we want but once our sensory organs detects certain stuffs, our memories will automatically be re-ignited.....

The sight of a family having meal, laughing, sharing together evokes past images of our own...or what we longed for..

The sound of the song that was played as you passed by the music stores reminds us on that particular period of time or person..

The feel of a blanket as your were shopping reminds you of the warmth of your grandmother's hand sewn quilt that kept you warm and at home during your time away from home....

The taste of your childhood candies or drinks brings back the kids out in you again, wishing that those days were not that far away....

That particular perfume scent brings in mind the one you love and lost and re-opens the wound that you thought have long healed...

Fun & Sun

Excited...excited, very excited....booking my fun & sun in Krabi this Sept...

This means for 4 whole days, I can....

1. Chuck away my non stop ringing mobile phone

2. Ignore all my new e mails alert

3. Stay awake the whole night, doing nothing...kinda miss this feeling...

4. Afternoon nap under the swaying coconuts trees listening to sounds of waves

5. Do whatever I want and not to worry about people recognising me

6. Be totally wasted on the beach with a good book, unlimited Dahfa and ice cold coke

7. Get myself "fried" under the sun... can't use the word "tanned" cos I always over-"fried" myself...

8. Wear my newly bought pink polka dot bikini...OK OK..this is supposed to be a joke, OK people???

All the above are more than sufficient for me to click the "submit payment" icon to finalize my Air Asia transaction...but one nagging problem, making me hesitating and really worried......

"Hmmm........... will there be any chicken rice in Krabi?? "

Worried...

It's my monthly S & M meeting today, and I'm very worried on my dept performance...sigh...it's been 3 straight months I'm not hitting my target...under tremendous pressure to deliver the numbers..

No more play play, gotta work extra hard & extra extra extra smart!!! Thank GOD my "When there's a will, there's a way" oomph is back...

Think Kayc, think.....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Restless...

Been having the same weird dream for 3 nights in a row..not a pleasant one

I hate it when it happens....though disturbed and restless, I knew GOD is by my side as I do have faith in HIM

Honesty The Best Policy???

Sometimes I do wonder, am I too vocal and honest on how I feel on certain issues? Without regards on how my opinions will affect people?

If you are reading this, I am sorry again (I know, I know, I've apologised, but this old one a bit long gas, ok???) I felt bad, really bad when I heard your sniffle..I pray that everything will goes well with you...Stay happy & take care ya young one!!!

P/S: Though I do not say it out often, I do miss you..glad we had that talk. (Blerks!!! - this Blerks is to counter your choksei that you are muttering now!!)

The RM 70 Bar of Soap...

Behold....the most expensive bar of soap I've ever paid in my entire life...The Eumora.......

It claims to

1. Brighten' up dull looking faces - hundreds is needed to have effect on me...I'm famous for "chor sei" look

2. Vanishing wrinkles - still no wrinkles in sight yet baby....Thank GOD..hehehehe

3. Reduce oily spots - you can fry an egg on my face under the hot sun

4. Eliminate eye bags - where do i store my coins then????

People around me knew that it'll be easier to kill me than for me to pay so much for a tiny weeny bit of beauty products...and yet till now, I have no idea why I bought it... Just imagine how many Dettol soap I can get with RM 70..all my entire life, my body soap doubled as my facial wash, sometimes as my shampoo..hehehehe

What have gone into me? Hmm...have I turned so vain or my work pressure (blame it on work pressure, when you don't want to admit that you are getting old..) is making me do things out of my norm??

Gotta sign off now...time for me to remove my RM 70 lather..

Blue is my new colour

Been feeling so blue frequently lately...

Thoughts of my mountain high overdue work makes it bad...

Thinking of you makes it even worse....

When will other colours appear back in my life???