I still can vividly remember how we used to discuss & decide which family self portrait photo frame (for those who have never been to my Ipoh house, our living room is full of rows & rows of ancestors & Gong-Gong & Por-Por self portrait photos) we should hide the dreaded rotan, and every year during annual house painting we will get a good lashing when our parents found out all the rotans that went mysteriously missing, barely a few days after being bought from market!! As time goes by, our parents has wised up and cautioned us that any missing rotans that mysteriously appeared (Yea..That’s our lame excuses) behind the photo frames is equivalent to 5 lashings each and that ends our “hide the rotan mission” quite abruptly.
Shuttlecock and badminton rackets evokes some of the most mischievous stuffs memories that we did together. It seems like yesterday when we used to incorporate the word BAD-MINT-ON into our conversations to avoid mum banning our evening Thomas Cup session, blocking up the alley with our badminton net that we scavenged from the rubbish dump and the plastic containers that our parents used for chicken rice. Also there were times, where we used to “steal’ the ladder to retrieve the shuttlecocks that went flying up to the roof and while we were up there, we pretended to be super heroes, with towels draped over our shoulders. Well, a moment "being a super hero” was always worth the rotan lashings that we get after each of our super hero escapades.
We both have the blessings & privileges of having loving aunts in London, which showers us with the most state of art toys during our era, i.e. the full set of Lego’s, Subbeteo, table football set & tons of Kalkitos ( bet most of you have not heard of this at all, rite??) All these lovely toys added fun & joys and coupled with our make pretend, we had a terrific time. Sadly, as we grew up into teenagers, we grew apart due to changing hormones, different view & perceptions in life. That’s when the arguments, quarrels, name calling started between us, and we even reached the stage of non speaking terms for years. The arrival of your 2 great kids, Alex & Nicole closed the gap slightly but sadly, I think the gap was too wide to be narrowed in a short time. I do not remember when was the last time we celebrated Chinese New Year as a family, as I, myself did not went back home for festivities.
Looking at Alex now, he reminds me so much of you, in terms of looks and some of his characters. He even inherited some of your “sin kar” character, guess it’s like father like son. Looking at him now reminds me of the times that we had together, the fun that we had, and the time lost due to both of our stubbornness and unwillingness to talk. I promise that I will try to be the best role model for both Alex & Nicole, and will fiercely instill the importance of siblings love between them. Seeing Alex & Nicole now, is like stepping into a time machine, looking at the time when both of us at that age, and I do not want history to repeats itself.
One close friend of mine once told me that you will never forget what happens the day you receive news of passing of a family member, and it’s true. I remember picking up the call in office from Kuen and in between sobs, she told me that “Kor-Kor is gone”. Hearing this, my whole body went limp instantly and I could not control my tears and the pain I felt was indescribable. Do you know that the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life was to drive home to Ipoh to break down the news of your sudden passing to our parents in the middle of the night? I wish & pray that I will never have to do this again, as I was on the verge of breaking down & apart but yet, at the same time, I have to put up a very strong front, as I am now the eldest in the family? Our loving aunts & uncles provided the much needed emotional support during this difficult time and I am eternally grateful & thankful for them. I was never proud to say that I am not close to family, in fact I am always the ‘missing one’ during family get-together & festivities, but now I have made a mental note to myself to show up during family gatherings and re-arrange my life’s priorities.
While waiting for you to be repatriated back, both of our parents refused to believe that you are gone, and it breaks my heart to see them this way and at the same time felt so helpless for not being able to do anything. When you were finally home, do you know that it took all my body strength to walk towards you, it hurts so much, to accept & face the hasrh reality that you are forever gone and I will never ever have the chance to make peace with you for all the grudges, quarrels & misunderstandings that we both had? As I am writing this, I missed having a brother and it hurts a lot to know that I will never be able to have the opportunity to get to know you again as a brother & a friend again in my life. I never took the initiatives to take the first step forward to mend the broken relationship between us, as I always take for granted that time will always be on my side. This will be one of the regrets that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Your sudden passing on the 5th August 2009, is the day, I finally & fully comprehend the real meaning of “Blood Is Thicker Than Water”, just way too late….
Shuttlecock and badminton rackets evokes some of the most mischievous stuffs memories that we did together. It seems like yesterday when we used to incorporate the word BAD-MINT-ON into our conversations to avoid mum banning our evening Thomas Cup session, blocking up the alley with our badminton net that we scavenged from the rubbish dump and the plastic containers that our parents used for chicken rice. Also there were times, where we used to “steal’ the ladder to retrieve the shuttlecocks that went flying up to the roof and while we were up there, we pretended to be super heroes, with towels draped over our shoulders. Well, a moment "being a super hero” was always worth the rotan lashings that we get after each of our super hero escapades.
We both have the blessings & privileges of having loving aunts in London, which showers us with the most state of art toys during our era, i.e. the full set of Lego’s, Subbeteo, table football set & tons of Kalkitos ( bet most of you have not heard of this at all, rite??) All these lovely toys added fun & joys and coupled with our make pretend, we had a terrific time. Sadly, as we grew up into teenagers, we grew apart due to changing hormones, different view & perceptions in life. That’s when the arguments, quarrels, name calling started between us, and we even reached the stage of non speaking terms for years. The arrival of your 2 great kids, Alex & Nicole closed the gap slightly but sadly, I think the gap was too wide to be narrowed in a short time. I do not remember when was the last time we celebrated Chinese New Year as a family, as I, myself did not went back home for festivities.
Looking at Alex now, he reminds me so much of you, in terms of looks and some of his characters. He even inherited some of your “sin kar” character, guess it’s like father like son. Looking at him now reminds me of the times that we had together, the fun that we had, and the time lost due to both of our stubbornness and unwillingness to talk. I promise that I will try to be the best role model for both Alex & Nicole, and will fiercely instill the importance of siblings love between them. Seeing Alex & Nicole now, is like stepping into a time machine, looking at the time when both of us at that age, and I do not want history to repeats itself.
One close friend of mine once told me that you will never forget what happens the day you receive news of passing of a family member, and it’s true. I remember picking up the call in office from Kuen and in between sobs, she told me that “Kor-Kor is gone”. Hearing this, my whole body went limp instantly and I could not control my tears and the pain I felt was indescribable. Do you know that the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life was to drive home to Ipoh to break down the news of your sudden passing to our parents in the middle of the night? I wish & pray that I will never have to do this again, as I was on the verge of breaking down & apart but yet, at the same time, I have to put up a very strong front, as I am now the eldest in the family? Our loving aunts & uncles provided the much needed emotional support during this difficult time and I am eternally grateful & thankful for them. I was never proud to say that I am not close to family, in fact I am always the ‘missing one’ during family get-together & festivities, but now I have made a mental note to myself to show up during family gatherings and re-arrange my life’s priorities.
While waiting for you to be repatriated back, both of our parents refused to believe that you are gone, and it breaks my heart to see them this way and at the same time felt so helpless for not being able to do anything. When you were finally home, do you know that it took all my body strength to walk towards you, it hurts so much, to accept & face the hasrh reality that you are forever gone and I will never ever have the chance to make peace with you for all the grudges, quarrels & misunderstandings that we both had? As I am writing this, I missed having a brother and it hurts a lot to know that I will never be able to have the opportunity to get to know you again as a brother & a friend again in my life. I never took the initiatives to take the first step forward to mend the broken relationship between us, as I always take for granted that time will always be on my side. This will be one of the regrets that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Your sudden passing on the 5th August 2009, is the day, I finally & fully comprehend the real meaning of “Blood Is Thicker Than Water”, just way too late….
Rest in Peace, Kee Foong
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