Weekend with the kids..

Went for Monsters Vs Aliens today at Mid Valley...queue was damn long....whoever said economy is bad, should go Mid Valley on weekends..Went with Aileen, her 2 princess, Amber & Ashlee and Carol's daughter...and it really amazed me that these 3 kids, aged 7, 6 and 5 can actually sapu one large & one regular popcorn all by themselves...guess they enjoyed the popcorn more than the 3D experience itself!!!

This is the first movie length 3D I've ever been to and it was really fun to do so..the last time I remembered any 3D movies was Jaws, many many years ago, but I do not actually get to watch it, cos I flunked my exams (if I remember correctly...)The storyline was good & simple, but at some parts, too serious for young kids..A lot of fun & humour thrown in and my fave character is Bob...he's so adorable and he gets the best lines. Should see for yourself to know what am I talking bout...

Went for some doughnuts & drinks after the movie..I ordered a beef bolognese spaghetti for myself and end up sharing it with the kids...they are so "eat-able"..one doughnut each and they still want my spaghetti, but it does makes you happy & warm seeing them enjoying themselves..but once they start running round after meal is when you feel mentally drained...keeping an eye on them in a weekend crowd is more tiring than preparing for my year end Key Account plan & budget..hahahaha..
The 3 future leng lui - Summer, Amber & Ashlee

Spending time with the kids, though tiring & mentally drained, it does re-ignite the kid in us, well .......as for me, it re-affirms the kid in me....

I made the choice

I followed my heart.... and I ended up with two extremes emotions..

Sad, cos' it does not materialised, but it's kinda expected in a way..after all, not many will want to take the trouble & effort knowing the real me...

Happy, cos' I actually have the courage to fight for what I want and not having "What If's" plaguing my mind for the rest of my life...

And to you, JW, thank you for making me feeling alive once again, even for a brief moment.....You re-activated my radar.

Which to follow??

Part of me want to feel alive again, take chances and yet part of me is still scarred by the hurt & despair...

My head or my heart??

Letter for you

Dear Dear,

How I wish I can muster all my courage to call you to chat, laugh & share like what we initially used to do.. Times flew, it's been 21 months now.. How are you? I sincerely hope that you are happy and well. Hope & pray that all is smooth for you, be it work or personal. Just in case you are wondering, I am doing ok, though work have been extremely busy lately, coupled with tremendous pressure, it's been really tough times for me. I also do wonder whether do I still crosses your mind? Does the thoughts or random things about me send shivers down your spine or does it bring a smile to your lips? Or you have forgotten that I existed?

Do you still remember our "Mama Karipap" song-dance routine that never made us stop rolling with laughter? Or my "confessions" whenever you wakes me up? Friends around me have been telling me that 21 months is way too long to hold on to, but these are some our memories together that I fiercely holds closely to my heart, for these are what's left with me now. Whenever I reminisces, it brings both smile & tears to me. Though our moments together are short & brief, it is one of the happiest time in my life, Chinese people always quote 'Pat joi foo tin cheung tei kau, Jee joi foo chang king yung yau'. Does all good things are not meant to last in my life?

Remember this faces you insist of drawing on my hands?

There are countless times that I used to wander aimlessly on the streets, not knowing where to go or rather no one to go home to, and I will end up going back to the places where we used to go. Do not get me wrong, I am happy with my life now, I have a group of close friends that are the most fun people on earth to hang out with, work though tough, but it gives me the satisfaction, but deep down I felt void.There are also times when I desperately want you by my side to share my achievements & joy or to be hugged and reassured that everything will be ok when everything went spiralling down. I misses you Dear Dear.

Despite all the wounds, till now, my feelings for you still remains, do you know that? Somehow, without you by my side, I knew that I will not be able to smile as brightly or laugh as hard as I once did. You showed me, though briefly, what is to be loved...You taught me to anticipate and work on the future that I want, but guess, my best is never good enough for you to have me in your future..

It is not true that I did not move on, I did... just minus a part of me that died the day you left..

Missing you,
Kayc

Sigh...

Ever felt...

Suffocated by pressure??

Helpless with situtaions??

Frustrated by everything??

Hating oneself for being so wimpish??

Weekend without chicken rice...

Weekend came and go...and I managed to stay off chicken rice this whole weekend!! I had fruits only, yup..you read me right, me had fruits only (on my own wish)...for the whole Saturday, and 3/4 Sunday...half papaya, 2 pears, 1 apple & a quarter of watermelon...

Went swimming with my swimming sifu Aileen, improved tiny little bit on my "standing water" technique..well, at least I can "stand" for a few mere seconds before panicking and went all the way down under with my mouth wide open, splashing like a whale in distress!!! Shucks...must remember to close my damn mouth...Also improved on my breaststroke, now I can boast that I can actually swim to the middle of the pool before running out of breath...

For those who makes swimming looks so easy and relaxing should be punished as it is not as what it seems. I am now totally drained of energy..but nevertheless, it feels damn good...will do it 3 times a week...hopefully ya...

5 more days to go on my detox plan..still hanging on...Hmm..is it me going crazy as why there are so many chicken rice flying in front of me??

My first time...

12.34am, 9th May 2009.....

Mark this day as I have taken a bold step by doing it first time in my life, after months & months of procrastinating...yup, I have actually found the courage & determination to gulp down without hesitation 2 sachets of Juvanex 7 day program detox plan...Well, it does not taste as horrendous as I've expected it to be, it actually tasted good with the refreshing lemon flavour.

This means die die I have to go thru the first entire weekend in my life without chicken rice!! According to the booklet recommendations, I have to eat fruits only, yup..you heard me right, fruits only...sigh...suddenly my weekend seemed so long & dull. I will only be able to have some steamed vege on the 3rd & 4th day, and some fish & lean meat on the 5th day onwards. And not to mention drinking at least 8 glasses of water each day to ensure the dried shit that was stuck somewhere along my pipes will be loosen up and flushed out as damn bloody smelly shit with smell that can put an elephant to coma... Apart from no meat, I might have some nausea or horrible reactions i.e. getting cranky easily, a sign that my body is trying to get rid off all my dried shits...so people out there, it's not me that is cranky, my dried shits made me this way ok???

We, humans who never detoxed actually have 10-25 pounds of dried shit that lined up our intestine that we carry here & there...so I'm kinda glad to know that I am not that fat, I just have extra dried shit with me..hmm...now with this new knowledge, I can share with my buddies while eating Bak Kut Teh with added pork intestine....

A word of caution people..I get real cranky without meat as I have been a carnivore my whole life. No chicken rice = no friendly me!!! No coffee = even more unfriendly me...

Now will you excuse me, need to put on my mask as my dried shits are on the way out....

P/S: me 85kg now inclusive 9.1kg of dried shit...pray that I can persevere so I can tell you the how much shit floated to Indah Water...

What Matters To Me..

1. My Grandma
Memories of her is the most valuable thing to me, and if I ever to be granted a wish that will come true, I will wish for her to be still around me now. Por Por, no person can ever take the place that you holds in my heart. Por Por, I miss you...

2. My Friends
Bunch of bananas that have stayed with me thru thick & thin, who have seen the ugliest side of me, who held me up during the darkest time of my life and despite all my shortcomings, still sticking around me, sharing my life's joys & sorrows.

3. My Dreams
As Martin Luther King's said, "I Have A Dream", I, Kayc Wong, have countless dreams, too many to list it all down. Some will always remain as dreams, some became daydreams, some became bad dreams, while some, I am working my arse off to realise it. One of it is to be able to fulfill what I have listed in my bucket list, hopefully with someone special by my side.

4. My Life
Despite most of it is consists of hardships, challenges & tears, there are too countless moments of joys & laughters as well. I still believes that when my time comes, and as GOD promised, there will not be a single day overdue.

5. My Desires

Desires for everything!!! I believed that if one does not have desires, what is the purpose & beauty of living?

6. Love
Despite haven't fully recovered, I still believes that there is always 'that someone' for everyone. My radar might be off at this moment, but I know when I found that someone, it will re-activate itself!!

Missing you..

Back to the place where we once went holidaying...

Longing for the warmth of your hands while strolling into the sunset....

Remembering the feel of words you whispered to me...

Missing the laughter that we shared....

Memories of us together flashing in front of me, as i was alone tracing back the steps that we once took together, that i thought will last forever...

As the sun sets, so does my heart...